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Indecent Proposals

May 22, 2011






“I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know who holds my future. ”

It is year 1986 when I completed my 10th std. and was moving towards adolescence. I was sweet 16 , a teenager with lots of hopes , lots of ambition , lots of friends, lots and lots of  love and romance to share with my friends.I had my own fears too. Fear of failure in life, fear of scoring badly in my 12th board, fear of rejection , fear of depression , fear of being lonely, fear of not having a girl friend. I was in New Delhi then in a posh locality where having a girlfriend was taken for granted .

I didn’t do well in my 10th std. I scored just 58% . I wanted to take arts or commerce for my 12th std. but my father insisted me to take Science. He wanted me to be engineer. Two years later his I let my father down by scoring just 62% in 12th std. closing all doors for engineer.I graduated with economics from Delhi University as major crushing all my father’s dream.All this took place between year 1986 to year1990 , the eventful years which completely changed my life and of all those who were interrelated with my life and my career. Maybe I do not even know them at that time or even now they are strangers to me.

Mine  education profile was nothing to crow about.  It was below average for Delhi’s standard where one has to score 90% at least  to get a good start in his career. One must be good in his field to have some ambition. I was not a sportsmen ,nor a singer or a actor and now was doing badly in my studies. It must be hard for someone like me to propose to girl or having a girlfriend . It must be even harder for girls to make a Boyfriend in Indian society . Being from a middle class family with very tight income to spend I can’t afford a girlfriend leave alone taking her for a date .

Yet this was a new fad which was fast catching up in the town. New dating joints , cinema halls, and restaurants were coming up . Delhi society was opening up to this fad. This attraction between opposite sex is very natural and has a powerful backing of Bollywood and Hollywood movies and songs whose influence always have far reaching effects on teenagers.

Anyway it is not all that you require to have a girlfriend. I have to possess some strong qualities to make a girlfriend and have a serious relationship with them.Guys and girls who have already made up their mind to go ahead in indulging themselves here have to groom themselves to present to each other in an attractive manner. There in nothing like “ Love at first sight “ in making a girl friend or a boy friend in the present day. You have to get to know each other before committing yourself to any kind of serious relationship with the opposite sex.

The big question is “ What are the qualities required for a male  to present himself in a proper way in front of a the opposite sex. And what are the qualities required for a female to respond to this  proposal or at least be worthy enough for a proposal ”. Let us assume that the society , the status , the religion , caste, the region (state) and the family which he or she belongs is advance and open enough to allow such kind of relationship.

I always studied in a Quaid school were interaction between boys and girls was normal. I had a choice of making a girlfriend from my school or from my colony where there were lots of beautiful fashionable girls to flirt with . One has to be Intelligent and smart enough to have a girl friend. Not only in studies but in practical life. Girl friend is privilege of rich and of those who know where the exit door is in case they have to escape during fire.

I also had a choice to wait and complete my 12th class and get into a good college and then get a girl friend. I would have been more matured then to deal with different situations and could have a better and lasting relationship.

Anyway I finally decided to propose to my classmate  sitting just two rows in front of me. She was fair , good looking and tall enough for us to get along without being sniggered at . In India where girls tend to be very short , it is very difficult for tall guys like me get a girl with good height for a friend ship or for marriage. It is like the most popular Indian couples in Bollywood  here , the very tall superstar Amitabh Bachchan and very short actress Jaya Bahaduri . They got along very well in their married life. However I would not like to have such a short girl as my girl friend. I do not have to worry in case of tall girls unlike some short guys who have to make sure that they get a girl of their height .

Her name was Sarita . She used to come in the same school bus in which I did. She was cheerful , sober and looked friendly enough to speak to. But  she was very Intelligent . She was among the top five students in my class and was very ambitious. We have talked to each other many times , had shared jokes with one other . But Proposing to her would require lots of guts from a reserved guy like me.

What kind of Boyfriend would an intelligent and beautiful girl like Sarita would like to have . I have to find out that. Whether she is interested in such a relationship now is a Billion dollar question.Can I turn her around in case she is not interested.Why on earth would she have any kind of relationship with a guy like me who has no special talent to show in any field and is not fit to be her mate or partner  in any respect . These doubts kept on hitting me . But I have to be clear them before making any move. I must approach her with clear and open mind.Failure of rejection did not bother me. After all I am doing my Job. It  is not a matter of Life and Death.It won’t matter an ounce to me of what she thinks of me later.

Still I have to plan a strategy before going ahead. I had few good friends in my class whom I can trust. They knew that I has some feelings towards Sarita and was showing interest in her. They could help me in gaining my confidence and controlling the situation after the Proposal.I do not want her to create a scene in case she finds my proposing to her obscene or hurting her modesty. My school was a Christian school with very strict regulations and I could easily be rusticated  if she complains to the principal. I had to discuss all these things with my friends and then decide on how to proceed.

Finally we all decided that I should Propose to her on Children’s day . It would be easy as she would be in a frolic mood with no pressure. We did not want her to be in a serious mood at the time of proposal. Nor did I want her to take it deep down or hurt her feelings or take it the wrong way. I just have keep chatting and share jokes with her and then Propose to her at the right  time. In fact I was advised to start showing attention to her right now. Try to get know her more and more.See  that she is not in relationship with any other person. Her likes and Dislikes . Her family , her temper and so on. Further she will get to know about me.This would reduce my nervousness on the D-Day , the day of proposal which was two weeks ahead . Also the chances of success will also increase.

For two weeks I continuously kept on hovering around her , kept on speaking to her at any opportunity , help her out in any possible way. What kind of Books she read , her hobbies, her family , her tastes and preferences , her likes and dislikes and so on. One information satisfied me . That she did not have any Boyfriend.

Finally the moment arrive . I had become very friendly with her by now. She accompanied me all the day and we kept on talking to her.It was just a spur of moment that I proposed her.

We were walking  very close to each other with no one around that I held her hand and spoke softly to her

“ Sarita ! I have something to say to you very personal.

We have been speaking to each other for so long  and now I think I should now get over it.

What is it anurag you want to say ? Sarita replied looking up at my face innocently , staring at my eyes.

It is very hard to say . I hope you don’t take it otherwise. I said. I could  hear my heart beat  pounding on my chest as if it would tear apart it. I am sure She could see my face reddened .

What is it ? Speak out. She said .

I pressed her hand tightly and spoke Sarita do you like me ? I mean how do find me ?

Why do you say that ? Of course I consider  you as a friend. She said. Now what ?

Thank you Sarita . But I think  You and I should get even closer than that . I find you very attractive .I blurted out in one go .

She kept silent for a while looking down at the ground where we were standing . Then she glanced up on my face with a short laugh . She looked straight in my eyes . I like you Anurag and that’s it. Anything further than that is asking too much .

I know I know . I replied. I just wanted to put some firmness in our friendship. A good base with some emotions of love on it. I said wondering from where these words were coming in my mind.

Well I will have to think about it. She said. It is not easy to have such kind of relationship . I mean it is very early for me and you. We have our commitments to our parents, teachers and to ourselves she spoke understandingly .My reputation will be at stake . Anyway I will reply to you very soon, Let us leave.

I let her hands go .Take it easy dear. Just give it a thought . I said showing all my teethes.

I will speak to you soon . She said . Please don’t regret  if I turn down your proposal.

No I won’t . I promise that . And please don’t get upset. I said . Please keep it secret.

Bye . She said .See you soon she said with her side glance hitting my body .

Bye Sarita . I said with a painful smile.

I stood there for a while seeing her back as she was leaving me until I could see her no more. Hundreds of thoughts were racing in my mind then . I started walking to and fro rapidly putting hiding my face with my hands. Have I done the right thing. What if tell it all to her parents or teachers. Can I trust her. I rushed to my friends telling them all about it.

They advised me not to worry and wait for her response patiently .

I waited and waited for days. I kept on looking at her expectingily  in the class room . She would pass me silently with her eyes fixed on the ground. One day I stopped her asking for her response.

Sarita , I called her as she was passing me. Have you thought about it. I asked.Please tell me.

She stopped and stood up to me looking at my chest. What do you want me to say , Anurag ? We will be in big trouble . I have this feeling in case I say yes. I don’t want to hurt your feelings by saying no. But I strongly resist this temptation of making such a relationship now . And I strongly advice you to do so. We both have ambitions and our career to make. I don’t want such petty things to come in our way . At least I don’t. We must continue being friends at least until we make a go ahead in our career by 12 th std. I know your father wants you to be engineer . I want to be doctor. Let us focus on that. She came very close to me . Touched my face with her hands . I thought she was about to kiss me. She didn’t . I like you very much , Anurag . And I would want to you be my good friend who can share my feelings. That’s all for a time being. I will invite you to my house on my Birthday. O.K. , Bye she left abruptly without waiting for my reply.

It was Year 1988 when the 12 th Board exams were declared. I went to my school to see the list with my friends with our heart thumping. I nearly had an heart attack  as I say my marks. 62.5 % with just 50 / 100 in Mathematics. My face dropped after seeing those marks. Many of my classmates scored above 80 % . I just sat there for few minutes thinking how am I going to face my parents with those marks. All their dreams were shattered. Then I saw Sarita walking straight  towards me. She gave me a smile .

What Happened ? Why are you so sad. She asked.

No . Nothing . Just like that.I said with a dumb face.

Just like that ! How was the result ? She asked quizzingly .

Very bad , I replied. 62.5 % only. I answered.

Oh no ! That’s pathetic. I don’t know what to say .She said.

How much did you score, Sarita ? I asked her.

92 % . She said.

Wow ! Congratulations .

Thanks. Now , What are you going to do ? You won’t get admission in any college in Delhi University in science, dear . She said giving me a worried look.

I didn’t reply. Just kept looking on the ground.

I must leave she said. Don’t lose your heart . She said , trying to encourage me. Bye . See you soon.

Take care .

She left me there struggling in my thoughts and fighting my way out from the darkness.

I took up Arts as major in a college  in Delhi University. My father also accepted the situation. I was now so deeply engaged in my problems that I forgot all about Sarita. Things were moving very fast for me and I found myself struggling to cope with situations . Still I tried to find about Sarita from one of my class mate. She has been selected in one of the top medical college in Delhi University as I was told. Later I met her in a college fete. We talked a wee bit and bid farewell to each other . She told me she was now engaged .

My first Proposal to a girl took me this far. The affair never started between us as it was nipped of at the early stage by Sarita. One sided affair is like a slap on the lover’s face. It should end before it turns into a Avalanche talking both of us down to our death. I will be dying like a rejected Majnu (lover) and she will be stoned to death by the society. We both did a perfect thing by controlling our emotions.

I never let any other girl enter my life . There were many girls as my class mates as my education took me to Post Graduation in MBA. Some of were very close friends of me. We get along very well with each for some time. We had a little bit of la ’affair too with each other. Gossiping, back biting, teasing , groups and politics all of these  were all involved when we enter this dragon called Affair. Sometimes we get Burnt up or burn each if we are not careful .We may burn our friends and well wishers unknowingly or sometimes deliberately. We must avoid friction with others when proposing a girl friend.  We all love to show  our masculinity and felinity when indulging in an affair .But we must not try to create a competition with other class fellows while making an affair. It can create an ugly scene which we have not even thought about. This will create a ground for Indecent Proposals which we should avoid.  That is where the Intelligence factor plays an important role. An Intelligent person would easily grasp the ground reality and the situation before making any move for proposal. He have won half the battle just by a decent proposal to his mate . The rest half has to be one by his analytical ability to correlate with different situations which he will face time to time in this la ’affair. The Decency of his proposal will bring fruits the day the affair changes into a happy married life with his soul mate .


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